Just some stuff....

[kimopinwheel]

Miral,
I was wondering, those last two lines-- is that a play off the French concept of orgasms as the "little deaths?"

I think you've tapped into something extremely powerful here. And I'm not talking about the raw power of eroticism. But rather the idea, that in sex, you give a little moment of your life away to someone in the most intimate, connecting acts possible for human beings.

That's an intense undertone I find in this poem, and it affected me.

Erotic poetry typically has heat, but gives up substance for emotion but not in this work.

Loss in this poem seems to be the shadow of pleasure--

Love becomes, in a way, the act of losing yourself-- which Miral reinforces with the intertwining, and at one point the image is of one-- the "mound of flesh."

The "climax" if you will is the total loss, the death. I think you've written an erotic
poem with a fairly deep subtext to me-- and that's impressive.

But then I could be totally off-base, reading poetry is so subjective to me-- half of how you read poetry is what you already bring to the experience. You end up revealing as much about yourself, as to uncovering anything the poet ever intended.

Either way, I need a cigarette now. Was it good for you, baby?

All kidding aside, Miral, I think you're very talented in infusing your work with complex emotion.

kimo

[kimopinwheel]

just some stuff indeed . . . is that an understatement?

kimo

[Miral]

I got inspired in a moments notice...and a title has yet to come to me....pun was not intended

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~There are a great many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane.~
~Is that my hand in your pocket or am I just happy to see you?~
~You want me to dress up as Wonderwoman, tie you up in my golden lariat and make you tell the truth, don't you?~
~A super-calloused fragile mystic cursed with halitosis~ *prov. by Dano*

[Miral]

An afternoon
Locked in the throes of passion
Our bodies intertwined
Our minds on nothing else
Pleasure and pain
Rolled together in a mound of flesh
Tossed upon the floor
Sounds indistinguishable
From our motion
Hands and hips and mouths locked
Just a moment more
And I will find myself
Dying in your arms


------------------
~There are a great many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane.~
~Is that my hand in your pocket or am I just happy to see you?~
~You want me to dress up as Wonderwoman, tie you up in my golden lariat and make you tell the truth, don't you?~
~A super-calloused fragile mystic cursed with halitosis~ *prov. by Dano*

[Branflakes]

I like, Miral.

------------------
Branflakes, the ninja lesbian hair gel and milk getter.
The one Necro calls "brain".
Call me what you want, just don't call me Blue Falcon or Branni.
Until the time you come back to me like fate.
"See that star...the one shining brighter than all the others? I know the girl who hung it there."

[RichC]

Wowzers!

------------------
"So let the sunshine in. Face it with a grin. Smilers never lose, and frowners never win. So let the sunshine in. Face it with a grin. Open up your heart and let the suuuuuuun shiiiiiiiine iiiiiiiiiiin."

[Dano]

Very good Miral. Nicely suggestive and very real without being smutty.

Anyone we know?

[Branflakes]

*HUGE HUG*

------------------
Branflakes. The Ninja Lesbian. The Milk Getter. The Hair Gel Getter. I get it all!
The one Necro calls "brain".
Call me what you want, just don't call me Blue Falcon or Branni.
I walk the path, trying not get pulled into the weeds.
"See that star...the one shining brighter than all the others? I know the girl who hung it there."

[Miral]

I felt another post was best...this will be my little poem thread...

I didn't want it to end
I didn't want you to leave
I didn't do it out of hate
I did it out of greed
I wanted you for my own
I didn't want to share
I wanted you to know
And I wanted you to care
I didn't make it clear
The feelings that I felt
I held you above
All the gossip and the crap
People thought of you as a lesser man
But I stuck by the idea of you as a friend
I know what I did
And I know it can't be forgiven
But I live with the regret
And I feel it in my soul
There were times when I felt threatened
You didn't realize what you had done
I should have told you straight out
But I thought it would boil over
And I thought that it would end
All the regret and all the pain
So many tears, so much heartache
I still feel them, I know you don't
You moved on, beyond and away
I remain behind holding on to hope
Holding onto something
Wanting you to remember
Wanting you to turn around
I know it's not to be

*************************
Please forgive me, I needed to air my feelings *wipes a tear as she walks away*




------------------
~There are a great many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane.~
~Is that my hand in your pocket or am I just happy to see you?~
~You want me to dress up as Wonderwoman, tie you up in my golden lariat and make you tell the truth, don't you?~
~A super-calloused fragile mystic cursed with halitosis~ *prov. by Dano*

[AsIs]

*big hug*

Nice poem

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- "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame... for one person. In the dark. Where no one will ever know or see." - Sebastion, Babylon 5
- INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.